7 Ways to Combat “The Fraud Factor”
After reading a post by Ed Gandia, editor at The Wealthy Freelancer, I started thinking. Usually thinking is an idle distraction from what I should be doing (i.e., writing) but my musing reminded me of something I hadn’t thought about in a while, which I’ll address in a moment.
The post was entitled “Talent is Overrated,” and it discussed how people learning a new skill can often fall victim to not feeling smart enough, knowledgeable enough or just plain not enough for the task at hand. Ed used his wife as an example. A new nurse, she felt as though she would never know as much as the more experienced nurses she worked with. His wife had forgotten a critical element to learning something new—it takes time. He then went on to cite statistics to back up this up. While I could certainly relate to what he was saying – what freelancer hasn’t had those moments of angst when you felt you just didn’t know enough? – I was reminded of a feeling that only occasionally surfaces for me these days: the feeling that I’m a fraud.
In the 1990’s and early into this century, I was in corporate sales. I worked with large companies peddling data of all things. My parents never could quite grasp what I did for a living and neither could my ex-husband. They all agreed, however, that it was very cool that I made a great income at whatever it was that I was doing. What I did was sell. And sell well. In fact, I was very good at what I did – to the surprise of me. Why? Because every time I walked into a client’s office, I thought they’d figure it out. They’d see through my thinly disguised deer-in-the-headlights feeling and realize that I was … a fraud. That more often than I’d like to recall, I didn’t quite grasp all the ins and outs of what I was selling. That explaining data analysis was on my list of things I liked to do right above having my toenails pulled out. That what I truly wanted to be doing was be at home with my son, not hundreds or thousands of miles away in their office.
Ever feel like a fraud?
This fraud feeling was visceral, and came and went, depending upon the client. I actually liked (most of) my clients and that’s one reason why I was successful. I also believed in the data products I offered them and made sure I a solid team of real analytical geniuses behind me – so they could explain what was going on and not me. Nevertheless, even with clients I liked, I often wondered if they’d figure it out. Only one ever did, and she was a kindred spirit.
In 1994, I found an article published by Psychology Today entitled Feel like a fraud? (You’re not alone). In it, the article focused on self-doubt and self-criticism and how most fraud-ridden folks are just plain afraid they’ll fail – “or worse, succeed.” They also talk about one of the biggest fears a fraud has – that their friends and family won’t like them if they knew the real person behind the mask. Wow, I could relate to that.
After leaving corporate life in 2002, I tried a variety of things, each eliciting that “fraud” feeling all over again. It wasn’t until I started writing that the inner voices quieted. It’s not that I don’t still have my moments of “fraudness,” but they happen much less frequently. Now I seek out things that challenge my writing skills and sense of self. Am I a perfect writer? No! But I know I’m competent and getting better every day. This clarity didn’t happen overnight, however. I had to consciously work at how I looked at my work and me. Since I’m certain I’m not alone in the feel-like-a-fraud tent, here are some things that have helped me move beyond these destructive feelings:
- Stop being a perfectionist: This stopped me faster than a punch in the stomach. Having to be “perfect” wastes time, energy and depletes your self-esteem. Humans aren’t perfect. God doesn’t seem to have a complex about that fact, so why do you? What makes you so special?
- Celebrate your talents: You have them, so rejoice in them. I don’t care if your only talent is loading up the perfect pencil holder with new pencils – it’s a place to start. Don’t lose sight of the things you do well because those things may be what will sustain you during bleak periods.
- Revel in what you don’t know: Okay, this assumes you know what you don’t know. If you’re learning something new, give yourself a pat on the back for the new things you’ve learned and look forward to all the additional knowledge you’ll be gaining. This isn’t limited to book learning. This goes back to Ed’s post about his wife. She already had the knowledge to be a competent nurse; what she lacked was the experiences of putting it into practice. So….
- Look for opportunities to stretch: Yes, physically is nice, but I really mean mentally, emotionally and writerly (I just made that up). Lollygagging in a comfort zone is nice, but it does get boring, trust me. So, look for places where you can move beyond it – safely if that’s your style – or take a big risk and jump into something totally new. Just be sure you can really handle it because it’s likely that not doing it passably well may impact someone else, too.
- Surround yourself with people you admire in your profession: Soak up their wisdom, learn from their mistakes (yes, they made them), seek their counsel and give them the respect they’re due for paving the way.
- Surround yourself with peers in your profession: Nothing is better than having someone to commiserate with. Writers generally “get” other writers. Whether you work in an office, in a coffee shop or a north-facing garret, writers have one thing in common – we work with words. Go find people who do what you do but maybe differently. Share war stories, laugh about clients, ask for insight, give advice, be a friend. Believe me, there is more than enough work in the world for writers, so don’t be concerned about these people being competitors. Humans are pack animals. We need our people around us to collaborate and cooperate with. Come on, you know I’m right.
- Surround yourself with things that remind you why you do what you do: It was this action that saved me during my corporate years. Having photos of my son, pictures we’d taken on vacations, a stuffed Eeyore (to remind me that all my days weren’t like his) on my desk, were some of the things that kept me sane and moving forward. Today, my son is grown, and I still have Eeyore. I work out of my home and have my two cats and dog to keep me company. They also patiently listen as I read my latest missives aloud without complaining. I’m surrounded by the things I love, and I’m grateful to be able to live this way. Find those things that make your heart sing and put a smile on your soul. You might not need them every day – but on the days you do, you’ll be glad you have them.
Have you ever experienced the feeling of being a fraud? How have you handled it? What do you do to counteract this feeling when and if it surfaces today?
(This post was originally published on another blog in 2009.)
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10 Responses to “7 Ways to Combat “The Fraud Factor””
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Melanie Kissell (28)
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Great post. I’ve been struggling with some of the same things lately. This is like a wake up call. Thanks for sharing.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Michelle Shaeffer, Lisbeth Tanz. Lisbeth Tanz said: New blog post! 7 Ways to Combat “The Fraud Factor”: After reading a post by Ed Gandia, editor at The Wealthy Freel… http://bit.ly/dsRMUk [...]
I think we all struggle with the “fraud factor” at least once in a while. At least I know I’m not alone! Thanks for the great tips on overcoming what can be a real barrier to true success!
Great post! I think we have all felt this at one time or another (probably many times.)
I like all of your suggestions, but I think you really hit it for me with #5 and #6. I am working on it, but I need to do that more.
Oh, and engaging writing, by the way.
John
John, I think we have that issue as solopreneurs. Getting out of the house might run counter to why we started our businesses in the first place. Online networking is good, but I don’t think anything beats good old fashioned face-to-face conversation.
I’m pleased this has resonated. I do think it’s an issue that humans tend toward, but don’t like to talk about.
Thank you for all the great comments!
[...] was reading a post about “Feeling Like A Fraud?” by Lis Tanz and was struck by two of her remedies because they fit in with some things I had been [...]
excellent writing about dog health, it is actually useful for me. keep writing and happy blogging.
[...] just be yourself in business. Just like in real life.Savvy Freelance Writers: If you ever get those bouts of self-doubt about being a freelancer in your field, have a read here.Copyblogger: If you’re a relatively new blogger and are still spinning your wheels, then [...]
Excellent article, Lisbeth! I’ve felt this way many times before. I have a theory. I think it’s because we’re wired as humans to forget much of the pain it took to get to where we are today — the hard work, sleepless nights, the fear, the obstacles, the disappointments.
Maybe it’s a defense mechanism to protect us from not sitting around on your bottom for the rest of our lives. I don’t know. But the fact is that once we get REALLY good at something (like you did when you were in sales), it’s easier. Then it gets really easy (because you’ve reached mastery). And at the same time, you’ve forgotten how much work it took to reach this level of performance. So there’s misalignment — which is unfounded, of course.
So when I feel as if I’m “not worthy,” I make myself think about what it took to get to where I am today. And how most people don’t put in that level of effort and sacrifice. And that’s why most of them never achieve anything close to their full potential.
Again, great post! Glad to hear you liked my article.
Ed, thank you for the compliment – that means a lot. It’s almost hard to believe that someone as accomplished as you (skilled and successful copywriter, co-author of The Wealthy Freelancer) would ever have fraud feelings. I think you’re on to something about forgetting the pain and anguish it took to achieve a level of mastery and success. We do have a tendency to forget that we didn’t used to know as much as we do and the trials and tribulations it took to get us from Point A to Point X. I also agree that, especially on the Internet, there’s a certain expectation of “instant success” or “instant wealth,” neither of which is possible really. It takes hard work (which is in another post, oddly enough). I know how hard I’m working to get this site recognized and feel very fortunate to have had it mentioned in FreelanceRant and to have you comment. Thanks so much for stopping by.
This post might be pointed out on Twitter by somebody. definitely?…
Yes, this post was put on Twitter more than once. Thanks! (Feel free to post it, too.)
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